The Pit Boss and a Royal Heckling

We’re always amazed at how different our two girls are.

My older daughter is a quiet, gentle, cautious little girl, who always abides by the rules and will report when others aren’t. And my youngest daughter is so sweet, but also very sassy…Cheeky McCheeksters…Fesity Fiona. And today, she earned a new moniker.

Our master bedroom is on the first floor of the house, off the family room. Skylar was in with us getting dressed for school, and Fiona, who woke up grouchy and snappy, was lounging on the couch, remote in hand, calling up episodes of “Charlie and Lola” on DVR.

Suddenly, in a surly tone:

“Hey, what’s going on in there?”

My wife, daughter and I all looked at one another and shrugged our shoulders.

“Hello?! Hey!?” “You all better hurry it up in there.”

Again, we didn’t answer her, but looked at each other and chuckled. Skylar even rolled her eyes at us, as if to say “Here we go again.”

“I mean it. What’s taking you so long? Skylar get out here now!”

Apparently she was pausing the show while Skylar got dressed, and wasn’t happy with how long it was taking. But she grouped us all together in her barbs.

“Hurry up! I’m waiting. Mom, where are you?”

So I looked at my wife and said “We better get a move on. The Pit Boss is expecting us. I don’t know if I can take this heckling.” She agreed, laughing at the thought of Fiona being the Pit Boss.

So I peeked out of the bedroom door, and saw her lounged back like the Queen of the Nile, one foot dangling over the edge of the couch, remote in one hand, twirling her hair with the other and a scowl on her face.

I said, “Hey Boss, what’s the beef? Why are you heckling us, little heckler?”

She fought back a twisted smirk, trying so hard to keep looking mad, and said “Hurry it up.”

So this is the stuff of parenting. The random little sideshow acts that are unexpected, oddly bizarre, yet truly entertaining. She gives us a run for our money almost all the time, but the world is also our little Pit Boss’ stage, and she’s the constant comic.