50th Post

It seems hard to believe this is my 50th post. On one hand, seems like I have posted many more, but on the other, wondering how I've had 50 things to say. It's been fun learning the blogosphere and meeting new peeps -- thanks to everyone who frequents and reaches out.

My wife and I recently had one of those parenting conundrums: should we believe our child, or trust our guts?

My oldest daughter recently complained she didn't feel well and asked to stay home from school. She normally loves school, so we wondered what was going on. She didn't have a fever, no coughing, congestion, runny nose, sore throat.

"Is someone saying or doing things that make you sad?" She told us no.

"Is there something about gym class (it was a Wednesday) that's upsetting you?" No.

"Do you have a little quiz that you're worried about?" Not today, Mom.

"Is something happening on the bus that's bothering you?" No.

"Did something happen on the playground?" No, Dad.

"Miss Dorsey just moved your seat -- do you not like your new spot?" No, I like where I sit.

"Did you have a problem in the cafeteria?" No!

"Can you please tell us if there's something happening at school that's making you want to stay home?" There isn't, MOM!

After what must have seemed like the Spanish Inquisition, my wife and I looked at one another, puzzled and in disbelief. I mouthed "I don't believe her...something must be up, let's call the teacher."

She got very upset, started to cry and we let her stay home...against our better judgment. And it seemed as soon as we told her she could stay home, she was fine. Smiling, hopping. She had bounced back too quickly. Something was definitely up!

Come to find out, she was constipated...and worried that she would struggle in the classroom lavatory. But apparently, she was afraid to tell us...or she didn't know how to articulate how she was feeling. She just didn't feel "right" but not having to worry about being at school while feeling ick made her feel a little better.

What she told us after relief finally came was "Now I feel normal again."

What it must be like to be a 5 (going on 6) year-old and not know what words to use to communicate how you feel. But it crushes your heart when your little girl tells you through tears that she feels normal again.

So why did we not believe her? Or think of all the possible medical issues? Maybe we were just in a rush and weren't prepared for the unexpected "hassle" that morning before rushing off to work. Instead of realizing she wouldn't ask to stay home if it wasn't something real, we jumped to the conclusion that she was just trying to avoid something. Maybe we were tranferring our own tendencies of avoidance. Or perhaps we just forget to try to put ourselves in the shoes of a first grader.

I think back to when I was in school, and how I rarely, if ever asked to stay home. And how I remember my mom always said "I don't question him. If he doesn't want to go to school, it's no sense in sending him -- there must be a reason and I trust that he's not kidding." Funny, her trust made me want to be more honest.

Whoever said mother knows best may have been right (though fathers know lots, too!) I should take a lesson from my own mom and have a little more faith in my kids.