Media Distortionism of the Average American Family

Po Bronson's essay in this week's TIME magazine takes an interesting look at how the media are quite possibly mainstreaming the niche when talking about today's "average" family, painting what almost becomes a Dali-esque view of family life that then is broadcast and interpreted by millions, as would that painting if hung at the Met.

Take for example, a story filed today by the Associated Press found on CNN.com regarding a report from the American Academy of Pediatricians on giving kids more free time to play, instead of overscheduling them into different extracurricular activities.

Respected author and pediatrician, Dr. T. Barry Brazelton, said "Children overscheduled with structured activities are missing the chance they have to dream, to fantasize, to make their own world work the way they want it. That to me is a very important part of childhood."

Overscheduled children have been a media darling for a long time. As such, one would imagine the average American family portrait shows two harried parents, two or three run-ragged children in need of mental detox and burdened with extracurricular gear, strapped into the minivan and dashing from one place to another.

Until recently, overscheduling, as Brazelton points out, has been believed to be bad. But then, recently, I found that precursor to a new study that shows that overscheduling is actually a good thing for kids (see previous post).

Do I believe the pediatrician or the child development "experts?" Or do I throw in the towel and trust my own instincts as an expert in child rearing? Where does this seemingly schizophrenic view of families start? Where does it end?

A recent interview with Katie Couric reveals that part of her move to CBS stemmed from her craving something more important and serious than fluff news and segments designed to capture ratings points. She wanted to report on the things that matter.

Maybe this is why we find more solace and solidarity in reading each other's blogs than in reading the paper or watching the news. We want real information. We need validation or challenge from those we have found on our own to be kindred spirits, instead of being spoon fed what the media suppose is either what we want to read, see or hear, or, even better, that they think either reflects who we are or provides an aspirational motivation to achieve. I love to read what other dads (and moms!) are saying about their own experiences, because it's real. It's unapologetic and unassuming. And it's comforting to know we're all human and making mistakes as we go along...that hopefully we're learning from.

Regardless of where truth lies (and, for the record, I personally think it lies somewhere in between and should be a function part parental instinct and part what feels right for the family), the AP story did include some tips from the AAP for letting kids just play that are worth a read, if not some put into practice:

•Free play should be promoted as a healthy and essential part of childhood.

•Pediatricians can advocate for developing "safe spaces" where children can play and spend free time in impoverished neighborhoods.

•Overuse of "passive entertainment" including television and computer games should be avoided.

•"True toys" including dolls and blocks should be emphasized to allow children to use their imaginations fully.

•Pediatricians should help parents evaluate claims by marketers about products or programs designed to produce "super children."

•Spending time together talking and listening rather than loading kids up with extracurricular activities can help parents serve as role models and prepare children for success.

•Parents should be encouraged to avoid conveying an unrealistic expectation that every child needs to excel in many areas to be a success.

•Pediatricians should assess patients for symptoms of stress, including anxiety that may stem from being overscheduled with activities.

Giving kids a chance to explore who they are on their own time is what leads us to the dreamers and visionaries. Whether that's through painting and singing or Tae Kwon Do and youth hockey, who cares? As long as it feels right.