Monday, November 20, 2006

Random Thoughts with Dad in Progress

So I’ve seen some other dads do a quick brain dump of quick hits, and it’s kind of fun, especially handy if you don’t have any other rays of genius to share, so here goes my first musing on life’s peculiarities.

Dancing With the Stars

Why do we love it? I mean seriously, a random cast of characters – NFL footballers, ex-“Saved by the Bell" and “Blossom” actors, trash talk show hosts – all training for weeks on end to dance!? Is it our inexplicable love of all things ridiculously stupid and humiliating? A chance to poke fun at the mo-mos? Our bizarre fascination with odd talent? Nostalgia for the b-list syndicated shows? Or is it admiration for their dedication, unabashed willingness to possibly fail? Curious wonder at how the little costumes stay on? I don’t know what it is, but we love “Dancing With the Stars,” almost as much as we loved “Skating With Celebrities," and we can't wait for it to start again.

Holiday Taste Buds

Does it happen to you too? This time of year, the mere suggestion of some cutesy flavor gets me every time? Where my usual grande non-fat latte at Starbucks is overruled when the option to indulge in an “Eggnog Latte” presents. The Dunkin’ Donuts corn muffin gives way to the fancy pumpkin version with crumb topping. Or the way I bought “special edition” gingerbread graham crackers the other day. Or how a gallon of peppermint stick ice cream beckons louder than my perennial vanilla bean. The thing is, I know they all usually taste like crap. Every time. But I can’t manage to NOT order them.

Breaking Down

It seems that every year around the holidays, little things start to happen to need fixing or replacing. You know, just because it’s that time of year when you don’t have the extra money for the unexpected things, because it’s all tied up in Christmas shopping. This year is no different. Out of nowhere, our dryer just stopped getting warm. Our kitchen sink is leaking into the cabinet underneath. Two of our toilets won’t stop running unless we jiggle the handle. And we, for whatever reason a week before Thanksgiving, finally decided to have a major indoor painting project done, so the house is torn apart. It’s annoying. But, this year, I’m going to try to remember that my household issues will help the handymen do their Christmas shopping.

Camry Drivers

A good friend of mine once mentioned that Camry drivers are all incompetent. She gave a few examples of how near misses on the highway, etc. were all involving the illustrious Camry. So my wife and I now play the equivalent of the Beetle Bug game whenever we spot horrendous driving. And guess what? If there is a right-hand turn being made from the left lane, a crazy brake pumper, a swerver, an aggressive backer-upper at the local market, someone driving along for miles with a blinker on, someone who pulls out on you then goes slow, someone who insists on leaving 2 full car lengths between them and the car in front of them – even at a stop light, the moron who doesn’t know you can usually make a right turn on red or the person with the “I’m a member of the Speed Limit Club” bumper sticker…chances are very, very, very strong that they’re driving a Camry. Try it for yourself – see how many crazies you find behind the wheel of America’s worst drivers’ vehicle of choice. P.S. Sorry, Mom. I didn’t really mean you...on all of these examples.

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