The Precious Present

In my last post, I mentioned I'm reading Tim Russert's book, Wisdom of Our Fathers. One man's story really made me think hard about my own life as a dad:

"While the biological act of fathering entails no real commitment, the ongoing process of daddying requires a lifelong commitment to your children. But it's never too late to begin the process of becoming the father you want to be, the one you always wish you had." -- Allan Shedlin, Jr., Chevy Chase, MD

As I read Russert's book, I try to remember some of things about my own dad that stick with me and have made me the man and father I am today.

I went to the shelf in our living room to find a book that my father gave me, called The Precious Present, by Spencer Johnson, M.D., that I will remember always for two reasons. One, Dad gave it to me on June 30, 1987, I was between the 6th and 7th grade, and I don't recall there being any special occasion attached to the day, which is why it was so perfect--he did it for no partciular reason. Second, I think it is the only thing my father gave me with a personal inscription. It reads:

Dear Mike:

I wish that I had had the opportunity to read this book when I was your age. It shares a beautiful message. Try to fold it into your character because it will yield rich rewards to you for the rest of your life.

Love,
Dad

I have read the book countless times, and I won't reveal its message but urge you to pick up a copy. But, thanks to Mr. Shedlin, yesterday was the first time I read the inscription for what it really says. My father was moved in 1987 to become the kind of father he wanted to be. I was 12. He was always a good dad, providing the best of everything all the time, taking me "downtown" to galleries and museums, good restuarants and shows, always sharing his "words of wisdom" and beng playful in his own ways, but it took him 12 years to put pen to paper and give me a lasting symbol of of his love. I have never told him how much that book means to me, how many times I have read it, and how many times I reread his own words at the front. So, Dad, here is my very public thank you.

And now it's my turn to start being the kind of father I want to be. To pay more attention to the little moments between a father and his children that become the lasting memories.