Get Used to it, Dad

In the current issue of DETAILS magazine the article “Is Being a Good Dad Ruining Your Career?” raises an interesting point:

“A 2002 survey by the Families and Work Institute found that the amount of time a typical dad spends at home with the kids – crawling around on all fours and roaring like Wookiee, say, while a 3-year-old in Pull-Ups rides him into the kitchen – has increased by nearly an hour per day within a generation, while parenting time for working moms has plateaued. Men in dual-income unions are spending about 42 minutes more per day on household chores—and women about 42 minutes less (thought they still do more in total, and make sure we hear about it). Not surprisingly, according to the survey, men are stressed out about balancing work and family. As for women? We’d imagine they’re used to it.”

I could have sworn my wife told me just last weekend that I’m not attentive enough to my kids’ needs.

I need to commit more time to really being with my kids. They know how to have fun. They’re uninhibited…they find a way to make everything playful, otherwise, “It’s BORING, Dad!”

I’m getting used to viewing time with my kids less as a chore and more as an opportunity. It’s downtime. It’s easy. There are no deadlines. No calls to return. Just unplugging, getting down on the floor and having fun. But it’s so hard!

Recently, we were cleaning for company, rushing around dusting and vacuuming. But my kids were playing dress up, making a mess in their rooms. I thought I would explode. “We have to get this place clean for grandma and poppy, so please stop making messes as fast as we can clean them up!” They looked at me like I had five heads. My older daughter said “But that’s not fun!”

I gave one the Swiffer duster and the other the vacuum hose. No, they weren’t going to get it totally right, but it made them feel like they were helping me instead of in my way, and it was fun for them to help me do the “important” stuff. My youngest wrestled a vacuum attachment twice her size with such determination and purpose, it was pure comedy. I went from red in the face with anger to red in the face with laughter. They helped make my chore more fun.

It’s not hard for kids to find fun in even the most mundane…I just need to get used to letting them show me the way.