Friday, April 20, 2007

Yes, I'm Still Alive

It's been a while since I've posted...we've had one of those periods where everything seems to happen at once. Lots of child care disruptions and maneuvering, family illness, weekends away and chaos at work. I figured I'd get around to blogging tomorrow, or the next day, and here it is over a month later.

But then I was starting to wonder what I would even blog about. Seems like we've been super busy and maxed out, but none of it is interesting or worth repeating. How can that be? Is it possible that we go through a grey time of parenting where nothing magical happens, nothing special, just day-in day-out routine? I kept thinking there had to be something, and keep coming up empty.

So, maybe the thing for me to think about is how to plug back into something other than survival. Covering child care gaps. Scrambling to finish PowerPoints just before I get to the front of the room to share them. Running errands. Filing taxes at the very last minute.

And here it is. My wife has been away at a conference since Wednesday, and my mother-in-law came and took the girls to her house that same morning, because it's spring vacation and she thought they'd like to have a change of scenery since we had no time off. So I was thinking it would be a great time to recharge -- take it easy, have a few glasses of wine, watch whatever TV I wanted, spend an hour or two browsing at Barnes & Noble (one of my favorite things to do), maybe run to the Apple Store and grab a game or (God willing) finally find a Wii in stock somewhere (I mean seriously, how can it be this hard to buy a friggin Wii?) And, instead, I got strep throat.

Fortunately, no one has been here while I've been contagious, but no one has been here to take care of me either. Just the cat, and she's useless unless I want my feet warmed. And after three days of sitting here, mindlessly waiting for my throat to open up again and stop feeling like it's full of daggers, it hit me.

Despite all the hassle and rush and frustration of life's routines, when you remove it from your day, it's disconcerting. I miss my wife. And I don't know if I can go another day without my girls. So sometimes, I suppose the most reassuring and comforting parts of being a dad aren't just in the magical moments, but in having a little princess run by and give you a wave or a sit down to read you her latest catch from the library. Or just having them be there, even if quietly.

Happy to be feeling somewhat better, and glad to be blogging again. Hope everyone has been doing well.

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